letting it go..

is it letting it go really will get better?i wish i could answer that. the feeling come from 1st sign.it nv stop till now.bt there is no feedback or respond wen its happend, so wat is the result will be? it maked the whole feeling very abstract, cant even feel how future will be.after few trieds, and still fail, mayb the best solutions is letting go.hopefully time heal. the last time wen listen to those songs and movies that she love, were candy feeling. now, wen keep avoiding those song to be play.bt wen ever some love songs that is related to same situation, it really hurts,heart is crying,mentally totally lost control, cant even control my tears to coming out.

mayb i should really thank those ppl that r loving me, care about me. things always turn around.that life to me. single life till now omost 1 year.every1 tot i will find som1 else very soon,i might looks stupid, playful. cheerful from outside, bt is there any1 could look deeper? i wish there is.the onli 1 understand myself very well still myself. use to be som1 to understand me,bt that might be juz illusion.

from mind telling me, she is not ready for any relationship. everytime we ended talking on fone very soon, i tried to find som other topic to talk on, but seem to be not working. might be i had this mentally sick oso.from saying "miss u", "like u", "love u", all those candy talk b4 ended online conversation in the last 3 month, now becoming "miss u" that saying in heart omost every second.

somtimes i asked my self "do u really like her?" "of coz, or else how come i hav feeling?" but is it the really answer that i thinking in my mind or is juz simply an answer that i wan?i love the way she act, her personality for being so real, her attitude to do stuff. bt since i giving it up.....probably make it as data for part in my brain library, would be nice. carmein tam, i do love u.i cant explain the feeling that i had into u,bt missing u, thinking of u, trying to understand u is it not enough to telling i love u?